Lost Gold Chronicles: A Man's Cave Is His Castle
by CJ Moliere
Summary: Baelfire introduces the men of Storybrooke to the concept of a 'man cave' by building his own in his garage and soon finds himself bombarded with requests from the others to make them their own hideaways including his own father and Robin Hood.


One of Bae's favorite projects as an interior designer was building the perfect 'man cave'. Now that he'd established himself in Storybrooke he wanted to introduce his fellow fairy tale counterparts to the concept of the man cave since none of them actually had one, surprising since they'd been living on this side for more than thirty years now. The town itself was still a bit behind the times in many respects but Regina was working on that alongside the town council.

The first thing he did was survey the house he and Tink purchased shortly after their wedding. It was a one story house with five bedrooms although at the moment they only needed four: one for them, one for Henry when he stayed over, one for Lilly and the other for guests. The fifth room was unoccupied but filled with nothing but junk, leading to Tink accusing him of having the same hoarding problem his father did until Belle finally broke him of the habit and she did it in a very creative way: forcing him to watch an _Extreme Hoarding: Buried Alive _marathon then springing the news on him that she was pregnant again so they needed the room anyway. So his father gathered up all his junk and followed his childrens' suggestion that they have a yard sale. It ended up being a townwide yard sale as everyone in Storybrooke followed suit, donating the money raised to finally build the memorial to the victims of the destructions of Oz, Wonderland and the Enchanted Forest.

Bae desperately wanted to make the fifth room his 'man cave'. Tink wouldn't have it.

"We need that room in case we have another baby. You want a man cave, you put it somewhere else," she said firmly.

His only other choice was to add a second level to the garage where he could have his man cave, enlisting the help of Robin and the Merry Men, who now operated their own construction company called Sherwood Builders. Their first major project had been to build new homes for themselves and all the survivors of the realms falling. Bae helped them learn everything they could about modern building and home design and now they were a success. Regina also had them working on modernizing all of the buildings in town.

"So, Bae, what is this man cave of yours going to have in it? Hopefully a big screen TV so we can watch games," Robin said after the addition was complete and the group of them stood in the newly built room admiring their handiwork.

"No man cave is complete without one, buddy. I'm going to have a kitchen in here too so we can make what we want to eat and of course to keep the beer cold. Plus a pool table and I'm moving all my gaming consoles in here too."

"Any chance you can design one for me?"

"Yeah, we can do that. Now where are you gonna have it? I doubt Regina will let you have a man cave in the house."

"No, she won't. Already told me that when I said you were making one. If I want one, I have to partition the garage. I was doing that anyway to make a workshop but I want a man cave instead."

Bae spent nearly every day going from store to store purchasing items to put in his man cave. While he was in the furniture store he ran into his father.

"Hi Papa. You shopping for the nursery?"

He nodded. "We gave the old furniture to DG and Wyatt a year ago. What are you shopping for?"

"The man cave," Bae answered proudly.

"So that's what you added a level to the garage for! I thought so."

"Next I'm going to help Robin get his done. You should have one too Papa."

"I do...it's the basement."

"No offense, Papa but its not a real man cave. You may have cleaned it out but it still looks like a junk room. Give me a week in there and I'll turn it into a spinning wizard golfer's paradise," Bae proposed.

"You are already busy," his father pointed out.

"I can get man caves done pretty quickly. You'll see. Wait til you see mine."

Word spread quickly that Bae was a man cave expert and he was getting requests to do one for nearly all of the men in Storybrooke. He informed them he would full the requests in the order her got them with Robin's being first, followed by his father's. He was anticpating doing his father's. Finally the day approached when he could reveal the masterpiece that was his own man cave. He hung a sign above the garage that read _The Bae Shack_.

"This is fantastic mate!" Hook crowed as he and a group of people walked into the room and studied the decor. Instead of one big screen television, there were two, one with his gaming consoles hooked up, the other hooked up to his Chromecast, BluRay player and satellite box for watching sports, TV shows and movies. There was a complete kitchen as he promised with a microwave, stove, refrigerator and deep freezer. He had a series of brown leather chairs set up in front of the first TV the way they would be arranged in a movie theater and black leather gaming chairs lined up in front of the second tv equipped with microphone headsets. He also had a pool table as well as a card table. There were pictures of his favorite sports teams on the walls that he purchased through FatHead as well as a blue neon sign that said _The Bae Shack: Always Open For Business _as well as a poster listing the rules for the 'cave'.

1. No whining or bitching, except when our teams lose

2. Bae controls the remote, no exceptions

3. No chick flicks and no women's TV stations...EVER!

4. Toilet seat stays up unless needed to put down

5. Belching, farting and scratching permitted

6. Junk food only!

7. Whatever happens in the man cave, stays in the man cave!

"Wait til you see mine," Robin said. "He was helping me with mine while he finished his."

"Well, Bae, I'm impressed with this bit of magic of yours," Rumple said proudly. Bae smiled. He never got tired of seeing his father being proud of him.

"It looks great Bae," Belle added.

The group walked down to Mifflin Street. Regina was waiting outside, smiling herself.

"Ready to show off your cave?" she asked her husband.

"Of course."

Like Bae, Robin decided to put a sign up for his man cave it read: _The Outlaw's Hideout. _Several people laughed, remembering Robin's former profession as the Enchanted Forest's resident outlaw and thief. There was a wall length poster on the wall with him dressed in his Enchanted Forest garb with his name on it reading: _Robin Hood: Wanted Dead or Alive by order of Queen Regina! _Regina had it custom made by Fathead. She also ordered large cutouts of some of his favorite Robin Hoods from the movies and TV. Other items on the walls were his collections of bows and crossbows, including the magical one Rumple returned to him once he arrived in Storybrooke as well as sports memorabilia he and Roland collected. He also liked Bae's idea of having two televisions and had one set up for gaming consoles and the other the movie and sports theater. His man cave also included its own kitchen, pool table, card table and on one of the opposite walls was a dartboard..with the Sheriff of Nottingham's picture in the center. They saw each other around town once in a while, glaring at each other mostly. Then everyone looked at the sign listing Robin's cave rules.

1. Leave your issues at the door!

2. Entertainment TV goes on what I say it does

3. Keep the toilet seat up! Unless you need to do something else.

4. If the smell of gas, the sound of belching or seeing some scratching bothers you, go somewhere else!

5. This is not a health place, so expect lots of grease, fat, alcohol and smoke

6. The only bitching permitted will be if our teams lose

7. What happens here, stays here!

"Okay, now we're going to Papa's!" Bae announced. His father's cave was the one he was the most proud of because it was his biggest challenge. They all headed down to Rumple's Victorian. Hanging over the door to the basement was a sign that read: _Rumple's Dark Castle and 19th Hole: Deals and Bets Made, Stress Relieved and Appetites Satisfied. _

Rumple's basement had been divided into three portions. The first portion was made into a miniature Dark Castle room with his potions and books lined up on shelves complete with labels as well as his spinning wheel. There was a stone sign on the wall that read: _Caution: Wizard At Work: Disturb at Your Own Peril! _The door to the Dark Castle portion was similar to the one in his dungeon. They then entered the next room. There were some similarities to Robin and Bae's rooms as Rumple also had full kitchen in his man cave as well as a pool and card table. Regina grinned when she saw a series of video slot machines lined up against one of the walls. All of them had been given a fairy tale name: _Rumplestiltskin's Lucky Threads, Beauty's Cups of Cash, Baelfire's Flames of Fortune, The Evil Regal's Reels of Riches, Hook's Lines of Plunder _and _Hope and Nathan's Toybox of Treasures. _He also had a small movie theater setup and to no one's surprise there was a punching bag hanging up as well as an assortment of canes, ball bats and sticks on the wall and of course a large paddle with the words _Rumple's Bruiser_ written on it.

1. All anger issues must be addressed to the punching bag.

2. You mess it up, you clean it up!

3. If you don't like my food or beverage choices, bring your own!

4. All sports wagers must be made prior to game time and payments due after.

5. No cheating at the poker table!

6. Take responsibility for your own belching and stench! No blaming the man next to you and blaming the host gets an immediate ban!

7. What happens here, stays here...and don't think I won't find out if you talk.

There was also a place where his guests could sign and agree to his rules.

The group was then escorted into the third portion of the basement. There were Fathead pictures of some of the world's top golfers on the walls including signed ones from legends like Arnold Palmer that were either given to him by the golfers themselves when he went to see them or he bought them at auctions. He also had a high definition golf simulator that was designed to make the players feel as if they were on an actual course where they could practice their game or compete in online tournaments.

"I need to get one of these. How much did it cost ya, Rum?" Hook asked.

"About 70 grand. You can afford it now," Rumple answered.

"Bae, mate, you mind working on a man cave for me?"

"Not at all. Pirate and gambler theme?"

"You got it."

"I want one too!"

All heads turned to Rumple's cousin DG. When she first came to Storybrooke a lot of people were surprised to see that a woman who was a direct descendant of Dorothy Gale was more of a tomboy and all of the men agreed that she would be one of the few women allowed in a man cave since she acted like one most of the time. Hers would be easy. As well as being an artist, DG was a skilled mechanic and motorcycle enthusiast.

Even the other women were asking for his help to design their own little hideaways since they knew that woman caves were now becoming popular.

Tinkerbell chuckled. "You've opened the floodgates, Bae. Lilly and I are never going to see you now."

"I always have time for my girls."


End file.
